A Mother’s Motto… A Life Philosophy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Momba!

I can think of no better day to write this. Today marks my Mom’s 60th birthday! It is in absolute and complete honor of her that I write this morning. In fact, I am listening to Celine Dion as I write, just for you, Mom.

Mom traveled about 3 hours from Bend, Oregon to stay with me for the weekend. We played around in The Pearl District, met Giovanni at Sorella Luna and ate at Cha Cha Cha on NW Glisan. We even went to the fabric store to find sueded silk (something I never knew existed until Saturday) for Mom’s latest project – recreating one of her most favorite silk jackets. We saw Dear John, we ate sushi, we listened to live music at The Heathman Hotel, we stayed Saturday night at Hotel Lucia in our own little bungalow room. It felt like a guest house, not a hotel on Broadway in the middle of downtown Portland.

We ventured to Powell’s City of Books where we sat for 2 hours together reading books and we nearly danced our way to Anthropologie (Mom’s favorite store. We go there every time she visits and love the new displays, interesting fashions, and random yet interesting books). We capped off the weekend talking in bed for 2 hours Sunday morning. We were brainstorming our latest creations in life and business. It’s no wonder I took to coaching – She’s just about the best coach I know. After so much brainstorming, we were hungry and ventured to breakfast at Mother’s Bistro – our new favorite place. She loved it. She ate it up. She so deserved it. Every moment of it!

We packed in a lot for one short weekend, and yet I learned more from Mom in this one weekend than I have probably in years of growing up with her. I am more aware now, curious, and so admire her. That will help anyone learn more about another. Am I right?

What did I learn from my weekend with Mom?

• Do everything to lift your child up. Do everything to avoid hurting her feelings. Mom and Dad made this important decision in raising me and the results are so empowering I’ll never be able to thank them enough. I learned to make my own decisions, form my own thoughts and ideas, make mistakes and learn from them, and discover the world for myself with the support and love of parents who at times had no idea why I chose certain paths. Nevertheless, they stood by me knowing it was something I needed to learn and someday they would understand. Or perhaps, as Mom often said to my perplexed Dad, “It’s a girl thing.”
• LISTEN… LISTEN… LISTEN.. and when you think you’ve heard it all. Keep LISTENING. One of my favorite things about my Mom is her ability to truly stop and hear me. Here’s something we don’t often realize. We think we can turn communication “on” and “off” like a switch. Guess what? We can’t. Communication happens all of the time. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We don’t ever “stop” communicating, though we do neglect to communicate effectively. How would you behave if you knew you were always conveying information to your family, friends, and the world around you?
• SHOW your love. SHOW your attention. SHOW you care. People understand actions and forget words. Mom has all the time in the world for me. I know it because she shows me. I can feel it. She shows that I am important and that relationships, above all, rank first in her life. Sure sounds like someone we all want to be around, am I right?
• Smile at a child when she enters the room… this is the greatest affirmation you can give to validate a child’s presence in the world. Mom did this for me and for years, in fact, until last Saturday, I never knew why I always felt like the only one standing in a world full of people when she was around… Because she looks right at me. She sees me. She puts everything down to acknowledge me. She always has. It sure is nice to feel special.
• Seek first to understand … Mom rarely got mad at me growing up. She always decided first to filter my actions or the actions of others through the lens of “What are they going through? How must they be feeling to treat me like that?” Need a little more kindness in your life? Then seek first to understand, it will change your world.
• Shine a little love wherever you are. Everyone can use a little light. If you shine your light, others will open to return the love tenfold. Mom will talk with anyone who needs it. People gravitate to her for a listening ear. Even complete strangers feel better having talked with her. My own friends visit her at work when they return home for family visits. They talk and talk about life, what they’re doing, and what’s important. It amazes me, but surely, I am not a bit surprised.
• Give Joyously. Mom decided she was going to buy me “a little something” as she calls it to commemorate our weekend. She waited for me to find a book that I lit up and ran to like a magnet and after an hour in the bookstore reading it, she gently took it from my hands and bought it for me to enjoy. I’ve read at least one chapter each day since and find comfort in knowing we found it together. It’s not about “things” you can give joyously in other ways, too. Mom is the first to hug and the first to smile and this is truly one of life’s most natural and delightful gifts. How do you give joyously?
• Expect The Best. It’s not always easy, but you can bet it’s worth it. Mom expects to have a great time with me and we always do. In fact, she wanted a cupcake from Cupcake Jones Saturday afternoon After lunch,  we wandered in the direction of “the cupcake” when a cute new shop, Sorella Luna caught her eye. It turns out that the owner, Giovanni, a bright, shiny, sparkling-with-life of a man, was hosting an evening function to celebrate his gallery’s 2 month anniversary. He walked in with cupcakes and offered one to Mom and I as we admired the energy of the store, the placement of his dishware, and the colors. Guess where they were from? You guessed it, Cupcake Jones. He handed her, Raspberry Truffle, her favorite.
• Be curious. Be conscious. Be connected. For as long as I can remember, Mom, the ever observant highly sensitive spirit that she is, has always asked me: “Do you ever wonder what her life is like?” with her eyes fixed on a woman at the corner of a busy street downtown. And then for a moment or two, she lets her mind wander about where she might have traveled. Is she married, where did that pretty bag she’s carrying come from? Who loves her? What makes her happy? And since the very first time she asked, I’ve answered, “Yes. Yes Mom, I do wonder.” It is important to wonder, to be aware, to wish good for others, to give the benefit of the doubt, and to smile at each other. It’s vital that we feel the thin thread that connects each of us, making the fabric of life.  Our fabric of humanity.

Thank you for sharing your love, your light, and your goodness, Mom. I love you!

As I close, tears streaming down my face in appreciation for you, Celine belts out on my speakers:

“Mamma, you gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady

Mamma, all you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love

Now I know there is no other
Love like a mother’s love for her child

All I needed was the guarantee of
you loving me.”

Thank you, Mom…

Love, Sunshine, Rainbows, to Incredible YOU!

Lacy Marie xoxo