Comments on: Parent Coaching: The New Way To Nurture Your Children http://www.lacykirkland.com/2010/02/parent-coaching-the-new-way-to-nurture-your-children/ One Woman's Journey to Showing Up Everyday, Getting Real & Creating A Life That Matters Thu, 19 Jan 2012 03:58:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: LacyKirkland http://www.lacykirkland.com/2010/02/parent-coaching-the-new-way-to-nurture-your-children/comment-page-1/#comment-86 LacyKirkland Wed, 17 Feb 2010 04:21:53 +0000 http://www.lacykirkland.com/?p=1009#comment-86 Sounds to me like you hear a deeper craving in him to try things, to excel and to do well. He sure is lucky to have a mom who sees opportunities for him to put himself out there and experience life... and even win! You are teaching him valuable skills in a way that he feels validated in having made the decision. You know why he fights back right? Why he rebels and doesn't want to be put in the spotlight of newness, right? Cause it's freakin' scary! Because it means that we might not be perfect, we might not know what's happening and we also want a little control over our environment. Newness certainly throws all of that out the window. You are going to have one well adjusted young man, Tressa. It's one thing to force your children to do things for your own accolades and quite another to introduce them to new experiences in a safe environment that they ultimately choose. I learned something about this very topic from a fantastic book I've been reading for the last week (The Happiness Project). The author has two young daughters and has found that simply acknowledging her kids' frustrations or fears by repeating what they say actually validates their concerns. Something like, "You're scared. This is new and you don't know anyone," would valid your son's position for example. This works far better than "fixing" or mowing right over their feelings. Most kids find it comforting just to feel heard and that's enough to keep playing, move on through the day or try something new. Sounds to me like you hear a deeper craving in him to try things, to excel and to do well. He sure is lucky to have a mom who sees opportunities for him to put himself out there and experience life… and even win! You are teaching him valuable skills in a way that he feels validated in having made the decision. You know why he fights back right? Why he rebels and doesn’t want to be put in the spotlight of newness, right? Cause it’s freakin’ scary! Because it means that we might not be perfect, we might not know what’s happening and we also want a little control over our environment. Newness certainly throws all of that out the window. You are going to have one well adjusted young man, Tressa. It’s one thing to force your children to do things for your own accolades and quite another to introduce them to new experiences in a safe environment that they ultimately choose.

I learned something about this very topic from a fantastic book I’ve been reading for the last week (The Happiness Project). The author has two young daughters and has found that simply acknowledging her kids’ frustrations or fears by repeating what they say actually validates their concerns. Something like, “You’re scared. This is new and you don’t know anyone,” would valid your son’s position for example. This works far better than “fixing” or mowing right over their feelings. Most kids find it comforting just to feel heard and that’s enough to keep playing, move on through the day or try something new.

]]> By: Tressa Branin http://www.lacykirkland.com/2010/02/parent-coaching-the-new-way-to-nurture-your-children/comment-page-1/#comment-80 Tressa Branin Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:45:25 +0000 http://www.lacykirkland.com/?p=1009#comment-80 Novel concept, listening to my children!!! One I always seem to be reminded of. Unfortunately, knowing what my kids need doesn't make giving it to them in their way easy. I have son who is pretty fearful, the exact opposite of me. So dealing with him in his way is very frustrating. I "get" to force him to have new experiences, something I am always excited to do. But (almost) always in the end, he has a great big smile on his face and had fun. Like today, when he fought and fought that he no longer wanted to run in his first race. But I made him show up and participate. He ran and WON! That smile after getting his prize was priceless to me!! Novel concept, listening to my children!!! One I always seem to be reminded of. Unfortunately, knowing what my kids need doesn’t make giving it to them in their way easy. I have son who is pretty fearful, the exact opposite of me. So dealing with him in his way is very frustrating. I “get” to force him to have new experiences, something I am always excited to do. But (almost) always in the end, he has a great big smile on his face and had fun. Like today, when he fought and fought that he no longer wanted to run in his first race. But I made him show up and participate. He ran and WON! That smile after getting his prize was priceless to me!!

]]>