Get Pissed Off!

Anger Fuels Action

Yeah, I know, you’re wondering what in the world happened to me this weekend to cause me to write such a post! Here’s the deal. I think it’s important to take time to reflect each day on where I’m at, where I’m going, and what’s happening in my world. For me, I tend to find a good book and head to the local Starbucks or the nearby park to appreciate, reflect, and learn.

Today, I did just that. On my way back from the coffee shop, I decided to write a post, but what about? Coffee, journal, and The Happiness Project in hand, I thought to myself, “Some people really piss me off, but I sure do learn a lot from them.”

Yes! This is it… Here’s what we do, we spend so much time tiptoeing around each other hoping not to really even be noticed. Or, we’re sick, tired, and miserable and we’re absolutely incapable of anything resembling “happy” and nice? Well, that’s just out of the question.

It bruised your ego, burst through your happy little paradigm and rocked your world.

But I’m not talking about viciously pissing someone off, I’m talking about being attentive, aware, confident, and authentic enough to say something to someone, a friend or family member that just may well help them for years to come. Remember the time someone you love, someone who knows you and your vulnerabilities, your hopes and dreams, totally pissed you off? You were livid. So angry, hurt or shocked, words couldn’t describe… If looks could kill, they’d be dead.

Remember it? I sure do. Guess what else I remember? Once I had come to terms with someone who loved me so much that they dared to share something that may have hurt at the time, but helped me immediately, I accepted its truth. I am better for every single of one of those moments.

Where Do Ah-Ha’s Come From?

Conflict! Think of the greatest lessons, ah-ha’s or epiphanies you’ve had in your life… Did they come through the smooth sailing waters of life? No. They came through emotion, surprise and the great unknown.

My greatest friendships, the people I trust the absolute most with my life, my emotions, and my world are with incredible people with strong, vibrant, powerhouse personalities. These women refuse to sit back and watch, they stand for something, speak their mind and allow me the same, piss me off, call me out, and they are always there. These women are so authentically themselves that I know they have my best interests at heart, no matter what. A few even involve hilarious histories of throwing clay and screaming at each other in the 4th grade over a boy, not talking for an entire year over a fight, moving out after a crappy boyfriend moved in, and well, I could go on and on.

In my clay throwing friendship, I stood by her as the proud sister she never had at her wedding last summer. She is a rock in my life. As for the friend with the crappy boyfriend, he’s gone, we’re best friends, roommates, and everyday we remind each other how great this moment in time is. She’s been through a lot with me. If there’s a place to earn, she earned it a million times over. I guard her happiness with my life.

Be The One Who Shows Up

Times aren’t always easy, but in both of these particular friendships, they offered something I needed in my life. I don’t condone staying in horrible relationships by any means. That’s not what I’m saying at all. You know when you’re getting something from a relationship and when you’re not. Keep it real with yourself. However, in friendships and relationships of value, be the one who shows up. Dare to speak your mind when you believe it may well help to move your loved one forward in life. Call them out when they aren’t living in alignment with their values and goals.

Seek Truth & Understanding

Ah, not so fast, friends. If you dish it, you’ve gotta be able to receive it. Capish? So the next time your friend or loved one dishes a dose of perspective that really pisses you off, stop for a moment. Take the opportunity to learn from it. Knowing that this person loves you and has your best interests at heart, with as little ego as possible here, ask yourself the following:

- Is there any truth to this?
- Why might s/he say this about me/my actions?
- How can I learn and get the most from this?

You don’t have to agree, or even really appreciate it, but there’s so much we learn from each other that propels us forward. Some of the greatest things I’ve learned about myself and life, I learned by getting pissed off first, then, sometimes not so gracefully, receiving the lesson. Take the time to at least appreciate their awareness and attention to share their perspective. It’s true, they wouldn’t say it if they didn’t care! If it is for you, glean something from it, let it lift and support you, not break you down. And if it is not for you, let it go, knowing we’ve all got our own stories and “stuff” going on. Remember, we are all human.

Now get out there and get pissed off… Live a little!