Sharing Life’s Greatest Gift: Our Unique Life Stories Revealed

I am alive today because you chose to believe, you chose to see past the impossible, and refused to stop until I was well.

I participate in annual events for Doernbecher Children’s Hospital, the incredible place I received treatment for my birth defect. Today Doernbecher is hosting the Hunt for the Cure Radiothon to raise money to continuing servingchildren and families in medical need.

I hopped on the air with Mike and Amy of 99.5 The Wolf and shared a bit of my story at Doernbecher. Throughout the rest of the day I listened to other stories of triumph, tragedy, joy, pain, struggle, meaning, and unconditional love. It occurred to me recently that the truest gift we can give each other is our authentic selves. That means sharing our stories. Stories filled with fears, hopes, dreams, love, sadness, and confusion.

So, in the spirit of today and of our greatest gift, I share my story with you. I found it tucked away in my journal. This was something I had written intending to mail to Doernbecher to say Thank You…

I am writing of pure inspiration this evening. While the world sets forth to begin a fresh new year full of bright goals, dreams uncovered, and boundless opportunities, I find myself doing the same. I start my list of goals, however, with a list of appreciation for where I am and what has been.

Born 1 in 300,000 I feel a sense of responsibility to share my life. There is meaning.

My story begins as a 3 pound two month premature baby born cesarean section due to plummeting vital signs caused by a birth defect in my digestive system. I was born without an esophagus, the important food pipe of life. I was immediately rushed to surgery to insert a feeding tube directly into my stomach and a drain to keep me from aspirating saliva into my lungs. I celebrated my first birthday in surgery to connect my throat to my stomach using 10 inches of my own colon so that I could eat. I spent much of my time in the hospital during my first two years of life. After I learned to eat and my feeding tube was removed, I gained independence and a sense of what it meant to be human. I grew up a normal tomboy who believed that boys always had more fun even if I did get hurt.

My life philosophy was and still is: Play all day long from morning until night.

I battled off and on with acid reflux as I grew, but remedied it by sleeping elevated throughout my childhood. Until one summer morning before my junior year in high school. I woke up after an active day in the pool with friends and noticed something was different… Certainly not right. I developed severe acid reflux, intense pain, and lost weight at a rapid pace. After 6 months of tests and two hospitals, the doctors at OHSU/Doernbecher performed surgery to remove scar tissue that blocked food passage and a pocket that had formed in the colon interposition that doctors created 15 years prior.

I healed from this surgery only to find myself with severe repercussions from the surgery and 8 months later, I underwent yet another surgery lasting over 6 hours to remove my stomach. Yes, I received a modified Gastric Bypass.

I strolled into my senior year classes a month and a half late adorned with a feeding tube and a massive scar down the front of my stomach that I was still adjusting to.

That December, still hooked to a feeding tube, I stood in front of my 1500 peers and staff at my high school in Bend, Oregon to provide a face and a story with an otherwise giant concrete building on a hill that is Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. One month later my feeding tube was removed and I attended Bermuda Bash, the beach themed high school dance free of my feeding tube, and wearing a two piece swimsuit. Daring, I know. I battled through my senior year with chronic pain from surgery and was asked by my graduating class to lead the turning of the tassels, a symbolic new beginning in so many ways.

I enrolled at Central Oregon Community College and started classes that Fall only to find that desire was no match for chronic pain. I was forced to drop out of college and return to the hospital for weekly tests and eventually my third major surgery in 3 years. The doctors at Doernbecher performed a highly invasive chest surgery to “update” the previously created colon interposition in hopes that I would return to my normal life. I left the hospital, chest held closed with 7 surgical wires in hopes of a new life on the horizon.

I spent the next two years optimistically depressed, if that’s possible; in search of meaning, and still fighting chronic pain. I received iron infusions and B-12 shots every month along with physical therapy and chiropractic care while working part time at a retail store downtown and attending college classes as I felt the energy to do so.

It was a struggle, and ultimately mind over reality that got me past the pain. I thank my wonderful Child Life Specialist, Jen Taft who visited me everyday with great predictability, Mary, Rose, Kristi and all of the nurses on the 9^th floor, and my life savers; Dr. Brett Sheppard, Dr. James Cohen, Dr. Brian Fennerty, and the countless other surgeons that made my life possible. I am happy to share that I have learned to manage my pain with the combination of getting real with my reality, the power of my mind, and listening closely to my body. I completed my college education, and I am thrilled to be giving back, pursuing my dreams, and nurturing others as a Life Coach here in Portland, Oregon.

To those of you going through your own pain and struggle – hold on. There were moments when I swore I’d never get better, when the harder I fought, the more I seemed to lose.

It will get better. Choose to believe. Especially when you don’t want to.

Listen to the people who support you and let go of the rest. And to those of you supporting your loved ones through pain and illness, your job is perhaps more difficult than the patients. I understand that. Please know that just by showing up, you shine so much light. Keep believing, keep shining, and hold on to your truth regardless of what you see or hear. Miracles are everywhere and you have the power to help your loved ones heal simply by believing so.

To medical professionals everywhere, thank you. Please continue your passionate work – you perform miracles everyday and the world loves you for it. Best of all, you have more power than anyone to believe in health and healing and in the spirit of people wanting to live. Along with so many others, I am alive today because you chose to believe, you chose to see past the impossible, and refused to stop until I was well. Please use your power to lift up, support, and empower your patients to choose life, to fight the good fight, and to believe that their lives will be magnificent – the power of the mind is an incredible thing. Believe.

Choose To Thrive,

Lacy Kirkland

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