Create The Vision: Who Are You Now?
I grew up listening to my parents say, “Your physical world is a representation of your inner world.” In other words. whatever you surround yourself with, is a direct reflection of your inner emotions, feelings, and beliefs.
That’s to say, when you’re angry, upset, and overwhelmed, if you’re anything me, your living space looks like:
a). A complete and total mess of clothes, dishes and an inconsistent showering schedule
or
b). A totally neat and overly tidy place… to overcompensate for the clutter and chaos happening within. One more “mess” and you might just “freak your freak” as they say.
Looking back, for the most part my living space has always reflected me – the true me. In 6th grade when I decided that I wanted to play in the Women’s National Basketball Association (for the LA Sparks), it showed… My walls were newspapered with stories, top players, signatures, scores, plays, moves, you name it, I had it somewhere in my room. I lived it and breathed it.
And when I decided that yes, indeed I would go to college. My room reflected it… clean all around me during 8 weeks of the terms and total, utter chaos during midterms and finals weeks. Books, binders and papers surrounded me. I even took up drinking coffee for the first time. Anyone entering my living space could literally tell what was happening in my life simply by looking around my physical environment… and the same clothes I wore 3 days in a row one week definitely gave it away.
All of that was fine and good, but there was just one problem… I graduated in 2007 it was now October of 2010 and I still lived in a space that very much looked like a college dorm room. Actually, the whole house reflected that. We had 4 people living in our townhouse and one night I jokingly named us “Phi Delta Awesome.” Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome for sure, but awesome lasted for about a year before our grown up 20-something selves needed something more… stable. Something less, sorority. So, when our lease was up, my best friend and I found a cute apartment in SW Portland, a downsize in space, but a huge upgrade in lifestyle.
I should mention, my best friend is a minimalist. As in, she could move out of a home in less than 1 hour and nobody would know she was ever there. No joke. I’m no pack-rat, but next to her, I surely looked like one. At least that’s what I would’ve said 3 months ago.
I wonder when they found out their walls are minty fresh? (Colgate makes for great nail hole filler!)
Motivated by a smaller space, and the intrigue of something I’ve never been good at – Minimalist living (translated: letting go of the past), I set out on an adventure to understand what it all meant. I quizzed my Bestie on the methods to her madness. After all, this was completely new territory for me.; and truth be told, kind of exciting. “Only keep what you need. You don’t need backups of things, Lacy” she would say. (I hated running out of things. Just the thought of wanting something and not having it there, made me anxious). And for that reason, I had a lot of everything. But, I was in this for the long haul…
- I got rid of clothes that I convinced myself I’d someday wear (but in reality, wouldn’t)
- I tossed of 5 extra binders that I might need (in the event of what? That I return to college?! Ah, hell no!)
- I cleared myself of makeup I didn’t even know how to use but “Thought I might learn how to… one day” (Yeah, right)
- I gave away the extra coffee can full of pens I wanted desperately, but secretly hated… (What was I waiting for? A pen shortage so I could save the day!?)
- I threw away the massive collection of body lotion, sunscreen, and hair products…. right along with the towels I didn’t like much anymore.
- I sold books I had already read, didn’t like, or would never read on Amazon.com
I realized that though I felt less cluttered, I wasn’t totally satisfied. I wasn’t experiencing the feeling I’d hoped for in getting rid of all of these things…. There was something more.
Bestie told me one evening that she was getting rid of her furniture and buying all new stuff. I was shocked. No way, I couldn’t do that. I had perfect good stuff! Ah yes, this is where my upbringing crept in. My parents are big into using what you have. If it still works, you take good care of it and clean it and use it until it… breaks. So, I grew up with an attachment to never sharing for fear my things would get broken, and keeping old things, even if they didn’t match where I was in life, just because they still worked!
That was it. I realized a total flip of the switch was just what I needed. I didn’t have to be wasteful, but I could surely surround myself with who I am, what I want, and what nurtures me! So, together we put our things on craigslist for someone else – a college student in my case – to enjoy.
We had still 2.5 weeks to wait until we were to move, but I didn’t care, I was ready. I sold my desk, nightstand, armoire, file cabinet, printer cabinet/cart, ice chest, living room chair, and giant bookshelf. Basically, everything I owned. Except my bed.
That’s when I realized… sitting for 2 weeks on my aero bed mattress as a couch and on the floor to work and to watch TV, that I felt more clarity, more alive, and more myself than I had in a very long time. Finally, I could breathe. I had space! I also had the opportunity to create a whole new space with any colors I wanted! (Though 2.5 weeks without furniture was a little rough, I might not recommend that long! But hey, it’s doable.) Also, remember to have fun and keep in mind that you are gaining something, not losing things.
To keep it fun, I even built a fort!
Once I made the move (which took FAR less effort with so few things), I made a big trip to IKEA, Fred Meyer, Target, and Bed Bath & Beyond for furniture, linens, and household necessities. I thought for sure that I would spend so much more buying all new stuff, but in fact, I broke even (minus a splurge on totally awesome sheets, duvet, and pillows – I couldn’t resist!). It turned out that before I was actually holding on to more than I needed… This new “urban minimalist” approach actually saved me money!
I moved from a living environment that I remember saying, “This helps me to be more serious” about. It came from a very proving place in my own self and it showed! I wasn’t in that space anymore.
I now have a new vision board front and center in my home office area, a great fern tree to breathe life into the room, a nice sleeping space, light colored birch furniture (desk and bookshelf) and I decided, to do away with a dresser and use bins in my walk in closet to house my shoes and clothes. Perfect! And the nik-naks I had all over in my previous place, now had greater meaning. I kept only the things I absolutely love.
I even decluttered my personal life. In going through everything, I found notes, journals and things I saved from a place in time that I preferred not to carry with me… I literally finally understood it. I felt like I could finally stop carrying the world with me. Literally, life didn’t need to be so difficult. I didn’t need to pick up my whole world every time I moved about my space.
I am proud of my living space… Yes, I actually look forward to people coming over. I wanted space for more, and I created it. You can too! Get clear about who you are, what you love, what you want to surround yourself by, and let you spirit soar. I went from a black and red motif to a birch and purple look. I LOVE IT!
If you’re feeling stagnant, overwhelmed, and blah in your own space be it your inner or outer world, take a look around you. Your environment says something… Do you like what is it saying about you?
Sometimes it’s easy to stop and look around on the way to our dreams. We wonder for a minute and in that split second we look up, loose our focus, and just like an athlete we toss up an air ball or miss the catch. We get distracted, we lose the focus, and we sabotage ourselves. We do this with our goals and dreams – often.
It happened this morning. I chickened out. I had the chance to showcase true care and compassion – something I’m generally good at, but somehow ran for the hills this morning and defaulted to something that, though important to business, in the grand scheme of life, it was nothing.