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Weekly Coach - Episode 7: 5 Steps to Overcome Fear of Failure

 

 

The options we have at this point in our lives, are amazing, but our fear of failure limits us. That's why, in this video, I'm going to teach you how to move beyond fear so you can live the good life... whatever that looks like for you.

 

Do you find yourself holding back in life, not showing up fully and taking the risks necessary to your growth and achievement because you're scared to fail? Maybe you were taught that you could only show up when you were perfect, when things were certain and failure wasn't an option... or a risk. Maybe like me, you learned that failure meant that YOU were a failure, not that you had given something your best, but it just didn't work out and that perhaps you could learn from it.

It's true, we can LEARN from failure. In fact, we learn MOST when life doesn't work out the way we planned. Do you agree?


Here are the 5 steps we must take to OVERCOME fear of failure:


1. EXPERIENCE IT.
Purposefully do things you aren't good at so that you can experience it, grow from it, and train your brain that you will survive, that it doesn't mean YOU are a failure, and that you can learn and become better from it.

2. BE CURIOUS.
Ask yourself what makes failure so scary? What does it symbolize to you? Once we know what it means to us, then we can see it, allow it space, and we can heal it. However, until we can allow ourselves to connect with what it means to us, we'll always want to run from it. After we find greater clarity and understanding about our fears, we'll discover that we ADMIRE people who try new things regardless of whether they fail or not. In fact, we want to cheer them on, we want them to succeed, to experience and to enjoy the pursuit of living their dreams.

3. FIND A MENTOR.
Pick ONE person you admire or who could serve as a role model or mentor to you. Ask them about their failures and what they've learned from them. Take note... did their accomplishments and joy in achievement outweigh the risks and potential failures? How did they develop greater depth?

Failure is learning. Failure is growth. Failure is passion.


4. CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS.
What beliefs will you have to change or let go of in order to allow yourself and welcome in things that you might fail doing? You might fail doing your dream. Should you not do it? No way! Does it bring you happiness, aliveness, purpose and joy? Then keep doing it! Yet in order to do that we have to clean out our emotional closets to allow the correct thoughts and beliefs to support us and remove those that no longer serve us.

What beliefs do you have to let go of so that you can live past the fear of failure and into your dreams and greater purpose in life?

What permission can you give yourself so that you can compassionately say to yourself, "I might not be very good at this, I might need some help, I must fumble at it, but I can still be of service and that's still worth it." You have to overcome patterns of old thinking. Even and most especially in the moment, you have to think through it, train your brain and say "Okay, I can do that." and move forward.

It's a lifelong process, we're just teaching you to think through it faster, and faster, and faster as you go with the right tools to support you in living into what you want. Rather than succumbing to your fears about it, and therefore living into what you don't want. The goal is to reach a point where you make decisions that make it so that your fears don't stop you or limit you. Instead you can say, "Oh, I see that fear of failure, or that fixed mindset creeping in." That triggers you to remember, *BOOM* "I'm growth mindset, I want something more, I want something better, I can be of service, I want to enjoy this experience, I don't have to be perfect. I can learn as I go. I am equipped, so I am going to move forward."


5. TAKE ACTION.
What ONE thing can you do today in pursuit of your wants and dreams regardless of the chance or your fear of failure?

Knowing what you know after taking these first 4 steps -- after writing down
your fears of failure, your risks, what makes it scary, and what it symbolizes to you and what belief you must change in order to move forward -- now we put it all into action.

We are literally retraining, rewiring your brain to work for you. That's what I do everyday when I'm coaching people. We're rewiring our brains so that they can work for us, not against us. So we can work toward the things we want not in service of failure, or fear, or in service of what we don't want, or negative feeling, but rather in forward projection toward what we actually want.

Pick things that you are curious to try, regardless of whether you've done it before or not, or whether you'll be good or not, but simply because you're interested and you deserve to live and to experience the fullness of life.

Purposefully pick things that you might not be good at. Not because you lack talent, but because you probably haven't done it before. Pick new things that you can start chalking off your list so that you can feel what it feels like to expand, to have permission to enjoy who you are, to enjoy learning. Isn't learning cool? It's fun to learn. It's fun to grow and expand and experience new things.

So pick one thing you can do that you can give yourself permission to do and grow and be in a nurturing environment and you can learn from other people and ask questions. Write it down and tell people about it. Let that be more of what you do, who you are and what you embody and let that move you toward your dreams.

Challenge your beliefs.

When you know better, and you know more about yourself, you do better. When you challenge your beliefs and you realize your past beliefs aren't true, you do better. When you challenge what you learned or how you grew up, you realize that, you know what it turns out the beliefs that I've had aren't true about myself or others. I don't believe that if somebody else fails, they lack value.

Do you think someone like Steve Jobs, who failed many times, lacks value? No, of course not. So if you hold a positive standard for someone else, you must also hold it for yourself... that you are good, and worthy, and that you are allowed to make mistakes, and you are allowed to learn, and you are destined for good things... amazing things, and that you are beautiful and wonderful and deserving of not having to know everything. You are still valuable and you are still important.

 

Share your story in the comments below the video.

What resonated most for you in this video?

We're all in this together and if we do it right, we're better together. Please be honest, kind, vulnerable and detailed in your sharing. Many beautiful souls come to this blog each week looking for support and inspiration. Your sharing may just help someone find their own breakthrough. If this video helped you, or you believe it could help others, please share it.

 

Cheering you on,



P.S. - Is there someone in your life who is struggling to move past their fears or failures? Please share this post with them. It might be just what they need to have their own breakthrough. 


Level Up Your Life. If you are anything less than ECSTATIC about yourself, your life, your relationship, your company, your dreams, or your job, I can help. Apply here to book a free strategy session with me.

 
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