"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
There will always be a reason that the timing isn’t right. Or you don’t know where it’s all going and why, so you neglect to begin. That’s why this quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is so important. It’s profound in it’s simplicity, but powerful when actually done. That is why you must simply begin right here and now.
So instead of skeptically asking ourselves “What is it all for?” or stating, “I need to know what it will it look like in 3 years from now before I will begin.”
We must instead ask ourselves this:
“What is the FIRST thing you can do in pursuit of that relationship, career, or life you want?"
Without judgement, without letting fear wreak havoc on your mind. Declare your starting point and START now. With each and every step forward you will build momentum and with momentum comes confidence, social support, and further clarity.
Listen to the callings, the yearnings, the passions within you…Listen instead to that still small voice within nudging you forward. That inner voice summoning you to greater things, to happy places, and a better life. While you’re listening, you’ll also hear those gremlins, our fears, old stories and pains that rise up when we decide we’re going to do something great for ourselves.
See them, know them, love them and keep going. Let them watch you thrive and move on in life. Those fears and stories will try to keep you safe, so it’s your job to remind them that you’re safe now and that you’ve got things under control. You don’t need their help with this. From this place, continue forward listening to the joy and the song of your small soulful inner voice becoming free to express, to play, to grow. Listen to her. She will show you the way.
I stood in front of my soon-to-be wife on my wedding day attempting to place her wedding ring on the correct hand and finger while listening to our officiant call out the words I was supposed to repeat back to him. Overwhelmed by my commitment in that moment, the focus required to get the ring on the correct hand and on her finger, all while listening to him and remembering what to repeat back was too much.
I blanked out, started laughing and said, “I’m not a multi-tasker.”
Our Officiant smiled and slowed down, allowing me to focus on my task of placing the ring on her finger, and we carried on the with rest of my vows. I had always thought of that as a detriment. Being a multi-tasker was see as a higher level of intelligence. At least that’s what I was taught growing up. But it turns out, we actually accomplish more with greater success when we do one thing at a time than we ever will attempting to multitask.
Fun fact: Did you know that it takes a person 23 minutes to get back in the flow of their task after they’ve been interrupted? 23 MINUTES!!! Basically, if you have Facebook, text messages, or a phone in general, you’re pretty much always struggling to regain focus.
So as you pursue what’s next for you in your quest to getting the heck out of your own way, remember: Do one thing at a time. Once that one this is complete, move on to the next. This process of accomplishment not only increase your likelihood of achieving more even faster, but it skyrockets your odds for achieving the important work or passions that you set out to do to begin with.
There are friends that you love and have known for years who you have a good time with and then there are growth friends. Sometimes your long-term friends are your growth friends, but often they are those we meet in adulthood. Growth friends are the ones who push you toward your highest potential. They ask you what you're working on. They're the ones ready to cozy up with a cup of coffee to discuss your hopes and dreams and cheer you on in pursuit of your goals. Most of all, they care, they believe in you, and they hold you accountable to your dreams.
Who is that person (or people) for you?
Write down their name(s) and schedule a time to call or text them to spend time together. As you embark on your journey toward more passionate and purposeful living, it’s super important to have your support system, your cheerleaders, accountability partners, growth friends and team all rallying around you in support of you. Why? Because growth friends hold you accountable. They help you see your blind spots. They help you generate ideas or think of things in other ways. They connect you with people they know who can help. They call you on your B.S. and they love you all the way through it.
Most of all, these growth friends already see the wonderfully beautiful version of you that you are becoming. You may feel like you are still a total work in progress. Like you’re still getting out of your own way. Still figuring it all out. But your growth friends, they already see you there, as that brave, brilliant, beautiful successful person doing what she LOVES with her one wild and precious life.
This is one of my favorite tools that I’ve ever learned. It’s a life changer. Are you ready? Of course you are. Let’s do this!
Take a moment to get quiet, if you’re standing, sit down. Take out a piece of paper and jot down important insights as they come to mind.
Take a deep breath and let your mind think about yourself at age 70, 80, 90, even 100 years old. As your mind contemplates you at these ages, I’d like to ask you a few questions to help you identify who you are, what you value and what matters most to you… your answers to these questions will help you quite literally create the rest of your life.
…. Now take a deep breath. These are heavy questions and even deeper answers, but it is in asking powerful questions that we free ourselves. We find clarity of purpose, passion, meaning and fulfillment. Isn’t now the best time to ask these questions, before you reach 80, 90, and 100 years old? Now you have time, you can do something about the answers. You can create a life around your answers.
Knowing your answer to all of these questions, how will you choose to live NOW? Take some time and write that down.
What will you do differently?
What must you start or stop doing?
What do you need to learn?
Who do you need to talk to?
Maybe those fears holding you back now are stepping stones leading you to what you’ve always wanted… maybe it’s worth the risk, worth the adventure, worth the story and the thrill of it all. We only get one shot at this life. Live it bold and brave and with purpose, passion and conviction. Finding your way to a life you absolutely love and a contribution that will be remembered many years after you’re gone is legendary and you, my friend, are a legend. You have the power. I know this because you have all of the answers you need right here. You know what you want, you know how you want to feel, what you need, what your soul calls for, and exactly how you’ll feel if you betray the craving of your life experience.
Grab a paper or your journal. Fold a blank page hot dog style. At the top of the left side write: “Today I am grateful for…” Underneath that, on the left side, write down the things you are grateful for. Make your list at least 20 things. Anyone can find 20 things to be grateful for today, including you. So get right to it!
At the top of the right side of the page, write “I want more…” Underneath that, on the right side, across from each thing you are grateful for, write down what you want more of. For example, if you are grateful for lunch breaks with your spouse, write down what you want more of in your connection with him/her. Maybe it’s more time like that for real true connection. Maybe it’s more conversations about your future, your goals, your kids, your dreams, or a date night once a month… If you are grateful for your health, write down what you want more of to support your health. Maybe you want to add a routine around exercise or learn some new health recipes that help you and your body thrive. Whatever it is for you, write it down. If you’re grateful for time to be creative, write down what you want more of for your creativity.
Write out your daily gratitude for a week. Once you’ve completed your gratitude list for the week, look back at your 7 days of gratitude. Keep a lookout for common themes in your gratitude and what you want more of. This is your roadmap toward becoming more aware and clear about what you want, what matters to you, what you truly value and how you want to spend your days and ultimately, your life. You’ve literally identified what you want more of in your life and how you’re going to get it.
Often we get in our own way because we’re trying to do something we don’t know how to do or have no business doing. We get bogged down by how to build a website by ourselves rather than hiring someone who loves to build websites to do it for us so that we can focus on the things that only we know how to do. Think also about the skills you need to learn in order to do the thing you actually want to be doing in life.
Maybe you’re getting in your own way because you don’t know how to do it… I’m here to tell you that may be true, but there is a WORLD of people with talents and skills who can help you. ASK THEM. Honor other’s talents by asking them for help in the ways you most need. My gosh, what on earth are we all here bouncing around on earth together for if not to help each other along our way? And if you’re scared to ask or your ego says you should be an independent woman and struggle to do it alone, tell it that you’ve got this handled. After all, collaboration is better than isolation.
Begin with these 7 steps to getting out of your own way. This is a tool, use it to help you in your pursuits.
Are you standing in your own way? Maybe you've gotten in your own way before. How did you find your way out? What dream or goal would you like to pursue if only you could get out of your own way?
Share your story in the comments below.
We're all in this together and if we do it right, we're better together. Please be honest, kind, vulnerable and detailed in your sharing. Many beautiful souls come to this blog each week looking for support and inspiration. You're sharing may just help someone find their own breakthrough.
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Cheering you on,
P.S. If there's anyone in your life who feels stuck, please share this post. It might be just what they need to have their own breakthrough.