© 2018 Maggie Kirkland. Photography by my extraordinarily talented Wife.
Lately I’ve been healing, deconstructing and understanding the things that hold me back. The last couple of years have felt stagnant and unfulfilling in many ways for me. I’ve felt it a couple of times previously in life, but I’m still not used to it. It’s uncomfortable and maddening. It surprises me, though I guess it shouldn’t come as any surprise really at all.
It happens when I listen too much to what’s “out there” and not to myself. It happens when people criticize, undervalue or belittle me. Ugh. I let other people get in my head, rattle my thoughts and eventually run my life. It’s weird how that happens, isn’t it? We go along and all of the sudden we wake up one day realizing we’ve let someone else’s beliefs, anger, hurt or agendas become ours. Oh god is it ever uncomfortable.
It is then that we find ourselves wanting our own selves, our dreams, our beliefs, our LIVES back… we find ourselves wanting something more, something different and something better for us. We thought we’d be further or elsewhere. We thought we’d live here, not there. We thought that we didn’t let other people’s unresolved anger or toxicity get to us, but sometimes it just does.
My brain never stops it seems. For better or worse. I remember in high school when it got to me, I learned how to train my brain. I read personal development books like “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself.” I figured that if I couldn’t stop the thoughts, at least I could make them nicer ones… more productive and life giving. It worked for me. And now, all these years later, I find myself returning to these same tools.
When life feels overwhelming or complicated and I feel angry or upset at myself, I always find peace and happiness at the thought of simplifying. I simplify my thoughts, my space, my to-do list and my expectations. This simplification somehow stops my brain from making things up that aren’t real, it stops me from overwhelming myself with a mountain of to-do’s and allows me to focus on only 3-5 doable tasks. Simplifying stops me from hating on myself for all the should haves and the why haven’t yous, and it calms my spirit.
In those simple moments I get to remember when I wind myself in a knot of pressure I’ve put on myself to save the world, be a better human, make more money, be better or faster at something, or do more good, plan my day better, get more done, play harder, or be more organized, that the point of life is simple.
The point is to enjoy life.
The point never was nor has ever been to work ourselves to the bone, to do what we hate, to be angry and ungrateful, or even to blaze through life to finally get “there” wherever that is. Because when we “arrive” we’re gone. It’s done. There is no destination. There isn’t one big checkbox with the words “LIFE” written neatly next to it awaiting your completion.
The point is to change what we don’t like, what doesn’t serve us anymore, and to play. When things don’t work out like we planned or we find ourselves out of sorts, it's up to us to find the things that bring us goodness, peace and that ground us. The point is to experience different places, people, jobs, and opportunities. Life… life is like an amusement park. We get to choose the rides, we get to choose who we ride with, and we get to choose what’s next, even if we don’t like what is now.
If you don’t like where you are, go someplace that lights you up, that brings you peace and joy. Everyday, go to those places both in your mind, in your heart and in your physical space.
If you don’t like who you are, dig deep and work to allow yourself to become someone who makes you proud.
If you don’t like your job, do something else. Jobs and payment is an exchange of your time and talent. Find what lights you up and go do that. People need that. We need you. If you’re scared, know this: You are bound to be more successful doing what you love, than you ever have been doing what you hate.
If you don’t like where you live or maybe it just doesn’t feel right anymore, move. Seriously, move. If you’re scared, that’s normal. All great adventures begin with curiosity and butterflies and are often stifled by fear. Keep going, move beyond the fear to a place that lights you up. Even if it doesn’t make sense. Even if “they’ll never understand,” and most especially if it calls to your soul, to the core of who you are.
Your life isn’t meant to make sense to others. It’s meant to make sense for you.
Simplify your life right now.
Think of the things that aren’t working for you right now and begin building a bridge to something better. Remove the chaos, the overthinking, the doubt and worry, and the people, places and things that no longer serve or support you.
Whatever it is that you don’t like right now in your life, whatever it is that just isn’t working for you, that’s taking the magic and the beauty away from you, choose to stop it. You can transcend it with your mind, your beliefs, and your choices. You have great power. The question is, how will you use it?
Share your story in the comments below.
We're all in this together and if we do it right, we're better together. Please be honest, kind, vulnerable and detailed in your sharing. Many beautiful souls come to this blog each week looking for support and inspiration. You're sharing may just help someone find their own breakthrough.
Keep going. You've got this.
P.S. If there is anyone in your life who feels stuck, please share this post with them. It might be just what they need to have their own breakthrough.